| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2004|08:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  jubilant | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Slow Like Honey - fiona Apple | ] |
wow i like haven't put anything in here in a really long time. i doubt anyone cares but yeah...
I'm doing really well
i reached my goal a while ago, and i'm now set to get 10lbs lighter
fasting is so much easyer now that i'm back in school
i'm normaly with my bf at lunch and wouldn't have time to eat anyways ;) (LOL!)
i'm like really stressed right now
a few or my "friends" have been bugging me about not eating
and i composily tear the lables from my diet coke and they get pissed about that
thoses are such stupid reasons to be mad and stop talking to someone...
i have that wonderfull empty, almost floating on air feeling right now from my fast
my body feels weightless right now, in my mind i am floating on a cloud
and drifting over the waters
it is wonderful
my bf has been so amazing to me
we've been together what seems like all our lifes
but my friends as i said seem to be ignoring me more and more evertime i'm around
at least i have him
Kisses all, goodnight *mwah* |
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| inspired by cantbetoothin |
[Aug. 27th, 2004|09:02 pm] |
to do list:
get down to 94
get hair trimmed and re-dyed
get more condoms from shoppers (lol)
get clothes for fall
invite kelly and mandy to hang out (i haven't seen them in forever)
take up pillates
get lip pierced
spend more time with bf
get tattoo
try to get my mom to stop hasseling me about food
<333
JADE |
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| mr. zebra |
[Aug. 27th, 2004|02:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  fat and revolting | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | hurt-nin | ] |
i'm at 116.
i put on one pound since i last updated.
but i'm going for a long run today.
i need some new fall clothes. |
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| FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK |
[Aug. 26th, 2004|10:13 am] |
shit shit shit.
i ate a pop tart!!!!!!!!!
and a glass of homogenized milk.
i can't believe it.
shit i feel disgusting....
oh god
oh god
i fuck up at everthing. |
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| broken drunk baby whore |
[Aug. 25th, 2004|09:30 pm] |
pills and hard liquor
watch me get sicker
my heart beat gets quicker
i break the windows so lock the doors
take the glass and cover my body with scores
let you beat me around fuck me till i'm sore
press deeper, press deeper fill me with more
i will be your whore
drug me up so i won't feel
but it the morning this will all be to real |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2004|01:53 pm] |
hard like steel
harsh like glass
frail like bones
the smoothe warm liquor of blood
heats my flesh
innocence lost through
the penatration of metal
ripping through my pale skin
the only food i've been eating is cellery, carrots and diet coke for the past three days
i've lost five pounds since this fast briging me down to 115.
i feel too fat to do my mesusments though.
i've been cutting a lot too so i don't look pretty.
i haven't been this thin in a while. |
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| lol |
[Aug. 19th, 2004|08:44 pm] |
First best friend: my bf
First car: never had a car
First date: a boy named alex in the 7th grade
First real kiss: guy;alex girl;rachel
First screen name: dunno
First self purchased album: hanson
First funeral:uncle
First pets: tiny, my hamster (RIP)
First piercing/tattoo: my ears...no tattoos yet
First credit card: VISA
First true love: my bf
First big trip: to france
First musician you remember hearing in your house:dunno
LASTS:
Last car ride: 3 days ago with my bf and his mom
Last library book checked out: catseye mageret atwood
Last movie seen: 13
Last beverage drank: diet coke
Last food consumed: 3 cellery sticks
Last time showered: three hours ago
Last shoes worn: black mary janes
Last cd played: little earth quakes -tori amos
Last item bought: 6 pack of diet coke
Last annoyance: my mom with the tuna sammich
Last disappointment: my friends not being able to hang out today
Last time wanting to die: an hour a go
Last shirt worn: pink tank top
Last website visited: Live Journal
LAYER.1
Name: Jade
Birthdate: July 5th
Birthplace: Ontario
Current location: see above
Eyes: hazel
Hair: auburn
Height: 5'6.5
Righty or Lefty: righty
Zodiac Sign: cancer
LAYER.2
Your shoes you wore today: mary janes
Your fears: gaining weight, being alone
Your perfect pizza: ew
Goal you'd like to achieve: being 94 lbs
LAYER.3
Your thoughts first waking up: I felt sick
Your best physical feature: eyes
Your bedtime: whenever i can get to sleep
Your most missed memory: my bf
LAYER.4
Pepsi or Coke: diet coke with lime
McDonald's or Burger King: no
Single or group dates: single
Adidas or Nike: ew
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or coffee: coffee
LAYER.5
Cuss: rarely
Sing:yes
Have a crush: my bf
Think you've been in love: yes with my bf
Want to go college: yes
Want to get married: yes
Believe in yourself: no
Get motion sickness: yes
Think you're attractive: no
Think you're a health freak: in my own way
Get along with your parents: no
Like thunderstorms: yeah lol
Play an instrument: yes piano, flute, guitar, harp, cello
Layer.6 -
In the Past Month..
Had sex: yes
Gone to the mall: yes
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: NO
Eaten sushi: no
Been on stage: no
Gone skating: no
Made homemade cookies: no
Gone skinny dipping: no
Dyed your hair: yesk
Stolen anything: no
Layer.7 - Have You Ever..
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: hehe lol
Been called a tease: yes
Got beaten up: no
LAYER.8
Age you hope to be married: yeah, im engaged
Number and name of children: yes, two a boy (morpheus,drake or Brandon) and a girl (fin, Victoria, Jesicka or Morticia)
Dream wedding: in a big garden, with a few family members and friends. everything covered in rose petals. beautiful wedding dress (w a corset of course) glass slippers.
How do you want to die: by my lover's side
Where do you want to attend college: not sure yet
Dream joblife: an art or english teacher (i love kids)married to my current bf in a nice down town loft.
Country you want to visit: everywhere
LAYER.9
Number of people I could trust with my life: 1
Number of CDs that I own: i mostly just download mp3 but prolly around 100-ish
Number of piercings: one in each ear and my tounge and belly button
Number of times my name's been in the news: 0
Number of scars on my body: a lot
Number of things in my past that I regret: too many
Number of people you've had sex with:1 |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2004|08:31 pm] |
--The basics--
Name:Jade
Age:16
Hobbies:singing, writing, drawing, fashion design
Type of ED:ana
How long:since i was 11
Recovered?no
--Stats, optional--
HW:
LW:
CW:120
GW:110
LTGW:94
Height:5ft6.5
And anything else you'd like to add. [Such as pics or extra info.]
um ya i'm looking to make new friends. my old ones kind of don't ike me anymore. |
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| weird. |
[Aug. 19th, 2004|08:23 pm] |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2004|07:23 pm] |
OMG
i am NOT a narcisist!
or histrionic!!!
back on liquid fast again.
mom tried to make me eat a tuna sandwich but i said i felt sick.
so i didn't eat it.
i need another diet coke.
i love my boy friend!!!!!
he is so sweet!!!!!!
he said i was the most beautiful girl he had ever met.
it's not like tru or anything but it was still really nice.
<3 |
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| AAHHRRRGG |
[Aug. 15th, 2004|06:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | arsenal - Kidney Thieves | ] |
my mother made me eat today, after 2 (almost 3) days of glorious liquid fasting. i felt to proud of myself and then she sat me down said "Jade, you haven't been hope for 2 nights and you haven't been having anything while your at home, your going to sit here with me and eat this soya icecream so i know atleast somthing is in your system." if made me feel so sick, i was a horible thing to come off a fast with because its so rich (or atleast to me it is). i just wanted to yell and tell her i was fine, i didn't need what she had to give me. i was doing fine with my fast. right after she made me eat i when into my room, down the stairs and and thought that maybe a few crunches would make me feel a bit better but i still felt like i had faild myself, again. so i sat on my bed, looking at myself in the mirror and reched down into my dreaser and took out my exaco knife, and spelt out " failure" on my thigh, beside my boy's name. sorry i had to write this out somewhere, i have noone around me that will understand, but my boy will find out what i did, and that will be a hole different story i am not looking forword to writing. |
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| quizzes. |
[Aug. 14th, 2004|06:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | i miss u- blink 182 | ] |
( Read more... ) |
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| i have had so much self control today!!!!!!! |
[Aug. 13th, 2004|01:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | marilyn manson(mmmm hotness) -tourniquet | ] |
YES!!!!!
i haven't had anything but water touch my lips all day!!!
i took a bath today and i realized that you can almost see my hip bones again.
god i missed that.
recovery ...bleh =P
icky.....;P |
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| i love u |
[Aug. 12th, 2004|05:37 pm] |
i feel like crying
i feel like dying
fuck the lying
i feel like bleeding
i feel this pleeding
i want to kiss you
i really miss you
i'll love you forever
i'll leave you never
i cut my wrists
did you notice
did you get pissed
do you care about this
as i fall into my abyss
icould you be my tourniquet
could you take me far away
could you love me a little more
could you love me till i'm sore
though i'm a bore pleaSe don't ignore. |
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